Week Number 2!

I'm doing it! Consistent for two weeks! I can do this.

Here's week number 2's question:

When and where were you born? Describe your home, your neighborhood, and the town you grew up in.

I was born on June 23rd, 1995 at 1:05 PM in the American Fork Hospital. We lived in Utah until I was 4 1/2, moved to Texas where I went to Kindergarten at Parker Elementary School, moved back to Utah for a few months and then to Kennewick, Washington, where we lived from when I was 6 until I left to go to college.

When we first moved to Kennewick, we lived in a little red rental home on Willamette Ave. I remember thinking it was so cool that we could see the river from our front porch! There were technically 2 bedrooms in that house, my parents in one and Cameron and Andrew in the other, and I got the fancy sewing room converted into my bedroom. It had a big window on one side looking out onto the front lawn, under which was my bed. The wall opposite that was covered in drawers! I thought it was the most awesome room ever! I had a door on one side leading into the hallway and french doors on the other side that led into the living room. I remember most of the house was wooden floors,  except for I think Mom and Dad's bedroom and the TV room down the hall (which I'm fairly certain used to be a garage.) We had two giant trees in our backyard, and a swing on one of them that Cameron and I would take turns spinning each other in. I remember that house and those years fondly.

The summer I turned 8, just a few weeks before my baptism in fact, we moved from the house on Willamette to the house my parents bought on Quinault Ave in Kennewick Park. Luckily it was in the same ward, but a different school. I started out in the bedroom upstairs in the left corner, then downstairs by the TV room, and eventually downstairs in what used to be referred to as "Grandma's room". It was in this house that I went from little girl to awkward preteen to awkward teenager to somewhat confident high schooler and then off to college and beyond. It was in this house I learned to play piano, started taking an interest in boys, learned how to roller blade, made some of my best friends. It was also where I learned that not everyone is nice, boys can break hearts, and that life is harder than fairy tales once you become an adult. When I think about my parents leaving the house it makes me so sad. I grew more physically perhaps the other places we lived, but that house on the corner of Quinault and Quebec is where I became who I am.

The neighborhood we lived in was a quiet one, a few kids our age around the block, and the chapel just down the street. Since we lived on a corner/cul-de-sac, our street was usually pretty quiet and we played a lot of kickball and soccer in the streets. I remember too climbing trees all the time, reading up there and trying to get high enough to see past the rooftops and electrical wires. We also rode bikes all the time; Cameron and I used to go to the church parking lot with our friends and pretend we were police guys on our bikes chasing the bad guys down.

When people ask what the Tri Cities is like, I often call it "mini Utah". It's not a lot of the same landscape, but our school was about 15% LDS. We had enough members in Kamiakin to have release time seminary every hour of the day! It wasn't a very "exciting" town, but there are a lot of great parks, the river, a good public library where I spent a lot of time, and the weather is usually pretty mild.

New Goal - I can do it!!!

So I know I'm really off and on about this whole blogging thing, but I saw a post on the Family Search facebook page that stuck out to me, so I'm going to do it. It's called "52 Questions in 52 Weeks". I've copied and pasted all of the questions so I won't forget them, so we'll see how this goes! It may not be very exciting, but it's going to keep me writing, and that's the goal.

WEEK ONE 

What is your full name? Why did your parents give you that name?

My full name is Lindsey Nicole Mulberg (maiden name Smith). My parents gave me this name because my dad liked Lindsey and my mom liked Nicole, so they put them together and that is my name! 

When I looked up the meanings of my names, Lindsey means "From the Lake Settlement Island" and Nicole means "Victory of the People". Smith pretty much just means any kind of smith (blacksmith, silversmith, etc). Mulberg comes from Muhlberg, and I'm not sure what it means. I should research that. I do know that it is German, so it's probably something strong and manly. 

I double checked the list, and it doesn't ask about my kid's names, so I'll put that in here too.

Ethan and I named our daughter Jasmine Chanel Mulberg. We fought over names for the longest time, until one day I got a text from Ethan that said, "What about Jasmine?" I was surprised to find that I actually really liked it, especially paired with our last name. I thought about a lot of middle names we could use, and I really liked the name Sariah. Then, while I was in the hospital being induced, Ethan said, "What about Chanel as a middle name?" It was perfect.

I did some research before Jasmine was born about what her name means. The jasmine flower is a small white flower, often used for brides to symbolize purity. It also has a very sweet scent that is used for meditation and peace as well as in teas. When I was reading about it, this flower is very precious and prized.

Chanel is the name of a close family friend of ours. She was diagnosed a few years ago with systematic Scleroderma, a disease that gradually hardens everything in your body; there isn't a known cure. Chanel has walked through it all keeping her head high and fighting with everything she's got. We want Jasmine to hold her name and look up to Chanel as an example of a strong, beautiful woman that she can learn from. 

Gratitude Letter

I know, three posts in three days??? What is this world coming to??

This morning when I woke up I knew it was going to be a hard day. Sometimes I have these days where I wake up and all I want to do is lay in bed and close my eyes all day long. I don't even care if I sleep, I just don't really want to be awake either. Lucky for me I'm a mom and a homemaker, so that's really not an option. As I was doing the morning dishes I decided I want to get out of this funk, so I googled "What to do on days I feel blue". The first suggestion that came up was a gratitude letter/list, so  here goes.

Lindsey's Gratitude List

I am grateful we have a roof over our heads, and a place we know we're going to in 3 weeks.

I'm grateful for a baby girl who is always so happy, even when Mommy and Daddy have rough days.

I am blessed to have food in our cupboards and the ability to feed my family.

I am so thankful for a ward who cares for us and helps us with whatever we need, whenever we need it.

The nice things we got for our wedding, even though we have to sell a lot of them

The internet, for connecting me to my loved ones and helping me with pretty much everything

Applesauce, just for being the glorious food it is

My health and quick recovery from giving birth. 

A car that gets us where we need to go; it's not the best car, but it runs and gets good gas mileage

The ability to pay tithing and see the blessings that follow

Robert and Sheila. As we sell all our stuff, I can't believe how much of it we got from them.

Footie pajamas. Jasmine looks so dang cute in them it's ridiculous

The Scriptures, for giving me guidance and strength when I don't know what to do

Parents who love and guide

Grandparents who set firm foundations for their children and grandchildren and made paths to follow

The rain we got yesterday. I hadn't had an adventure in a long time

McDonalds for saving me when I really don't want to cook.

My $100 gift card to the seasider for being my lunch money for the past 2 weeks

The Flakes. I have no idea where we would be without them taking Jasmine and saving my sanity every once and a while

Temple covenants and blessings. I feel their guidance and power in my life every day

I have a lot to be thankful for :) My day is starting to look up. I hope I can remember how much I am truly blessed.

Moving

I blogged yesterday and it felt extremely therapeutic, so I'm doing it again today.

I was just sitting on the couch waiting for Ethan to come home from taking an Accounting test, playing Candy Crush like a normal adult, and I started thinking about how we're leaving soon. Then I did the math, counted the days we have left, and it hit me. I've realized it a few times before, and it makes me sad, but this time when I realized I have less than 21 days left in the place I've made a home for the last 14 months, I got a pit in my stomach and felt sick.

I'm not someone who makes friends very easily. In a group of people, or even with just one or two people I don't know well, I can be really shy and awkward. When we first moved into this ward, I would leave as fast as possible after Relief Society because I was scared someone I didn't know was going to try to come up and talk to me. Now, in that same ward, I have some of the best friends I've ever had, and it's taken me the last year plus two months to get here. Now we're leaving and I'm going to have to start all over again.

I will be with my family, so that's going to be fantastic. I'm just so worried about making friends my age. All my high school friends are in school still, and the ones that aren't are just barely coming home from missions. I don't know if I know anyone from high school that's in the same boat I'm in right now, married and with a baby. What if I don't make any new friends? I won't be lonely, but it is nice to have women in the same boat as you to cheer each other on.

Part of me wishes we weren't going back, both to maintain the independence we're so used to now and to keep the good friends we have here. I know we're supposed to leave, we can't afford to be out here anymore. But there's a rough road ahead of us. I only hope we can be strong enough.

Humility and Gratitude

So these last few months have been pretty hard, not gonna lie. Not only did we take on the responsibility of raising a little baby girl, but we've taken on the medical bills that come with it. Add to that the fact that we're already trying to pay for school and living in Hawaii, etc, etc....

Life is hard. And expensive.

For a while I was in denial that we needed help. I kept telling myself, "It's okay, we can do this. We should make enough money in the next few months to pay off our bills." Neglecting to think about the other bills that would come in those months.

Ethan and I finally decided we needed help. We're in a position where we just can't afford pretty much anything anymore. Moving home is going to help with that, and we've found clinics that will see Jasmine and I for $40 or less a visit, which is fantastic. But we somehow still needed to eat for the next month before we leave and we didn't really have a way to pay for that, so we went to the Bishop asking for help.

When the Relief Society president came by with the order form to help fill it out so we could get what we needed, I was still a little hesitant. I didn't want to take too much, and I still felt like there were probably other people who needed it more than us. But I swallowed my pride and told her how many cans of peaches and beans and spaghetti sauce we would probably need. She texted me later that week to say that Bishop would like if we could go ourselves to pick it all up to see what the Storehouse was like and where our food was coming from.

Saturday morning we drove down, and I was thinking it would be a little like grocery shopping, just with an order form instead of paying.

When we walked inside and they started helping us get everything we needed, I was overcome with a sense of both humility and gratitude. I realized how excited I was over cans of peaches and boxes of cereal, how excited I got over getting Jello and pudding, and I realized at the same time how much we really needed this help. I was so humbled by how much the church was able to give us, and so, so grateful. I thought about all of the times I had paid fast offerings and tithing, and the scripture in Malachi that says, "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."

A few weeks before in a night of overwhelming stress, I had said to Ethan, "We're paying our tithing and doing all the right things and I don't feel like I'm seeing the blessings. Why are we still struggling?" I finally saw where those blessing were, right in front of me the whole time.

I had been denying the Lord the opportunity to bless me because I was still too prideful to accept help. I wanted to do it all on my own to prove how strong we were and how I was an adult who knew how to run my life. And I still am an adult, and I still feel strong. We've been going through some crazy hard stuff, and I know I wouldn't have been able to make it without the strength the Lord has blessed me with. And I'm learning to make responsible decisions that every adult should know how to make. Heavenly Father didn't want to take that away from me, He just wanted to lighten my burden so that I could focus on the things that matter most.

The Gospel.
My husband.
My daughter.
And even myself.

I can't express how blessed I feel to be a part of a church where we are so taken care of and loved. I was afraid going in that we would be looked at, and she would see the nice car seat and expensive diaper bag, both of which we received as gifts, and think that we were just trying to mooch. But as she led us around the storehouse showing us where everything was kept, she did it with love and compassion, and even mentioned that she wished we had come sooner.

I wish we had gone sooner, but I'm glad we finally went. I'm so grateful for a husband who sat me down and said, "Look, we need help. We keep saying we can do this on our own, but we can't." I'm grateful for his humility when I was still so prideful. I'm thankful for a loving relief society president who went out of her way to help me and makes me feel loved and cared for at a time when I'm so far from all my family. I'm so thankful for all the people who volunteer their time and sacrifice their money to help families like us who are just trying to get by.

We may be struggling, but we are so, so blessed. I hope that I can always remember what I've learned this weekend.