When I was in high school, I don't remember how, but I discovered a percussionist named Evelyn Glennie. I think it may have been through Mrs. Shuster, my percussion instructor, but I really don't remember. Anyways, Evelyn Glennie. She's amazing. Born in Scotland, she became almost completely deaf at the age of 12, but has since become one of the world's best-known percussionist, especially in her use of dynamic range. Like, what? I've read her essay about how she listens to the music using vibrations through her feet and is able to "hear" using all her senses combined, and I think that's incredible. I would absolutely love to spend a day with her learning how I as a musician can listen better. I want to get better and more proficient at my dynamic range, and I think spending time with one of the masters in that field would be amazing.
Sunday, June 11, 2017
Evelyn Glennie
If you could spend a day with any famous person in the world, who would it be, and what would you do during your day with him or her?
Sunday, May 7, 2017
Residency
In how many places have you lived during your lifetime? Provide a brief description of each place you’ve lived, why you lived there, and why you moved.
I've lived in 8 different houses in 4 different places if my memory serves me right. I shall provide a description and pictures, if I can, of all the places I've lived and why.
1 - An apartment in Pleasant Grove, Utah when I was very first born. I don't know how long we lived in those apartments, but it obviously wasn't long enough for me to remember them at all. I know we moved before Cameron was born, possibly a while before.
2 - A little townhouse, still in Pleasant Grove, from around 1997 to 1999. I have a few memories of this house. We had an up and downstairs, which I thought was pretty fantastic. We were also right next to the yard of our complex, which had a swing set and slide. I think we also had a sandbox at this house and eventually a little blow-up pool I got for my 3rd birthday. My birthday party was Anastasia themed, and the only other thing I remember from the party is peeing in my swimsuit because I didn't want to leave the party to go potty.
3 - A 2 bedroom upstairs apartment in Houston, Texas from around 1999 to 2001. We moved from Utah to Houston when Dad was accepted into a Masters program at Texas Women's University. I drove down in our car with my parents and Cameron came later with Grandma Johnson. Our apartment was on the 2nd floor, but I remember our nice neighbor downstairs let us store our bikes by her door so we didn't have to take them up and down the stairs every time. I shared a room with Cameron on the left side of the apartment, Mom and Dad had a room on the right side, and in between the two bedrooms was the tiniest kitchen in the world and a little living room/kitchen area. I remember going swimming all the time, and to get to the pool you had to walk through the laundry room, where there were free cookies. To this day, I taste Albertson's chocolate chip cookies whenever I smell chlorine. This is where I started public school, starting Kindergarten at Parker Elementary. My teacher was Mrs. Cummins, who I am still in contact with. She's in my top 5 favorite teachers ever (excluding college professors, because that makes things too complicated).
4 - After living in Houston, we moved back to Utah. We lived in Grandma Pam and Grandpa Don's basement for a few months, I think. Maybe like 7 months? I don't know the exact time frame. I went to half of first grade at Highland Elementary School, and my class was in a portable outside the normal school building. Cameron and I shared a bedroom at Grandma and Grandpa's, and maybe even a bed. My memories are kind of fuzzy. But I do remember a lot of movie nights on their big couch and Andrew falling down the stairs multiple times. The carpets in the bedrooms were all strange colors, from a bright green to a shag blue. It's an interesting house.
5 - Dad got a Job in January of 2002 in Pasco, WA, and we moved to a little red house on Willamette Ave in Kennewick. I was so excited that we had our own actual house! The backyard had two giant sycamore trees, and we hung a swing from one of the branches. You could spin so fast on it! There were some weird vines too, and big pokey bushes with what we called "poison berries" on them. My room was the first door on the left right when you came in the front door; I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be a sewing room, and the whole south-facing wall was covered with drawers of every size. I put my bed under the window, and Mom painted my room light yellow with pink flowers around the top trim. The hallway was a big circle, and one time Cameron and I got running so fast around it, then I changed directions in an attempt to surprise him... Well, it surprised us both, unfortunately. We rammed right into each other and had identical black eyes for three or four days. I also remember that this house had a fireplace, and one Christmas, Santa left black, ashy footprints from the fireplace to our tree and back. That's when I knew Santa had to be real! Another memory from this house is that we were always playing in the dirt. There was a patch of dirt to the right of the patio, behind the garage, that we would make super muddy and get really dirty in. Andrew was always eating dirt. We also bought our first dog, Pepper, when we lived on Willamette. She was a black lab, and the most spastic dog you will ever meet.
6 - The summer I turned eight, we moved to 8959 W Quinault Ave, still in Kennewick. I was really happy that we got to stay in the same ward, but I was nervous about moving schools, Luckily I had awesome teachers, and Sunset View Elementary was the beginning of my marimba career with Walt Hampton's Rugare Marimba Ensemble.
When we first moved in, I had the tiny bedroom upstairs next to my parent's room. I don't remember much about that room. When Sadie was born and big enough for her own room, I moved to the room right across from the garage downstairs. I was so proud that I was big enough to have a bedroom downstairs! I had an awesome canopy over my bed that made me feel like a princess, and Mom and Dad bought me a new bedframe with gold designs on it. I loved being able to stay up reading without Mom & Dad knowing, hehe. In the spring and summers, Cameron and I would ride our bikes almost every day around the neighborhood, playing cops and robbers. Most of the time we'd ride with Brett Matheson, who would be my best friend all the way through middle school and high school. We'd go to the church parking lot and race each other around the lot and down the stairs.
Later, when I got to middle school, Cameron moved downstairs into my room and I moved into what had previously been known as "Grandma's Room": the guest bedroom at the end of the downstairs hallway. I was so excited! I got to paint the room whatever color I wanted, so I chose brown and teal. My bedspread was an off-white with brown, teal, and green dots, and I was pretty excited to have a queen sized bed all to myself. Even if it was an awful mattress. Later I got my own bookshelf, and then my Junior year I got my own electric keyboard. I also stayed up way too late all the time, but that's a normal teenager thing.
7 - Once I graduated from Kamiakin High School, I moved out to Laie, Hawaii to go to school at BYU-Hawaii! I lived in the oldest dorms possible, Hale 3, room 203D I think. I'll have to double-check the exact number, but it was upstairs to the right. Hale 3 was built in the 60's, I think, around the same time the school was built, and it was so old. Our furniture was all metal, even our beds, and everything smelled like mold. There was no air conditioning, just like 90% of Hawaiian housing, so my first roommate (Rebecca Jacobs) and I had lots of fans. I had a mini fan that I clipped onto my bed right by my face when I slept at night. This served 2 purposes: one, it kept me cool; two, it kept the mosquitos off of my face. Rebecca was nice enough to give me the bed right by the window, which was nice when it was raining or breezy. Not so nice when the weedwhackers started up at 7 AM right outside my window. Looking back, I should have been up and getting ready for class anyways. But instead, I tried to hide under the super cute bedspread my mom had found for me. It was white with green and light blue designs, and I had a green and white polka-dot sheet. I was so sad to leave them behind when we moved.
The hale (Hawaiian for "house") had a courtyard in the middle, where there were a bunch of picnic tables and palm trees. Sometimes I would take my homework outside, but it was also very sunny and I am very white. Other times I'd go in the sitting rooms, which had very out-of-tune pianos. There was also a TV room in the front lobby with bug-infested couches, which should tell you how often I sat and watched TV.
The bathrooms in Hale 3 were communal, which meant they were disgusting. There was always long, black hair in the showers (from lots of Polynesians and Asians), cockroaches in the garbages, and with that many girls sharing a bathroom, there was always a gross scent of feminine products.
All the gross things considered, it was kind of fun to be stuck in this crazy housing with girls all my same age, all of us going through the same things. Sure, we made fun of the "rich Utah girls" in the nicer, newer housing across the street, and we secretly envied them, but we were happy because we were all together.
My next housing was in Hale 2, but it was only for one semester. My room in Hale 2 was way more spacious, with built-in closets and drawers, and a real bed with a night stand. I was downstairs this time, with the window bed again. Outside the window were lots of beautiful tropical flowers, including Birds of Paradise. One early morning around 5:30 AM, I woke to the sounds of someone cutting flowers outside my window. When I finally got the courage to look outside, some random lady was walking away with a bunch of flowers and clippings from the Hale's bushes. I probably should have reported her for stealing, she had a florists van. It was really weird.
8 - In 2014, I moved with a crazy person into TVA Q205. It was a one-bedroom apartment, but the only doors were the front door and the bathroom door. No bedroom door, no separation between kitchen and hallways. I thought it was strange. We had a full-sized bed, a couch, table and chairs, and a desk that was more annoying than helpful. I tried to spruce up the boring white walls with a canvas of the Hawaii temple my mom got me for Christmas, along with some other frames. The side of the fridge had been sprayed with what looked like hot cooking oil, and it took a lot of scrubbing to get it clean. Our bathroom was always infested with ants or termites, which freaked me out, and I also found a 7-inch cane spider in there once. Yikes.
I don't have too much to say about the apartment, but I loved our neighbors. To the right were the Hardisty's, who were always so nice and would watch Jasmine for me sometimes. They were both surfer-type people, always out and exploring. To the left, at first, was the Coronado's. She was Indian and he was Latino, which I always thought was an interesting pairing. They were nice too, but a little more reserved in person. Sometimes, though, they would stay up until 1 AM watching Jimmy Fallon videos at full volume and laughing their heads off. It drove me crazy. After they moved, Sean and Mary moved in. I loved them so much! One General Conference, I made over 300 cinnamon rolls but forgot to plan on only having one oven. They let me use their oven until 3 AM. That's just nutso, right? I still talk to Mary occasionally. They have a little girl who is adorable. Sometimes, since our whole apartment building made up half of the ward, we would do spontaneous potlucks in the center courtyards. Everyone would bring their own plate and utensils, along with a dish to share. It was so much fun to just be with all our friends and neighbors. I miss them all so much.
When Jasmine was born, I found a changing table and a crib that I made fit into our bedroom. I also found a rocking chair, which I loved so much! It was so fun to have baby furniture, and I was so sad again to leave it all behind.
9 - After living in TVA, we moved back in with my parents, which is where we are now! I have the room I had before, but now with new carpet, new bedspread and new paint. I also bought myself a cool mirror and clock, and I repainted my bookshelf blue and the nightstand white.
Jasmine slept in the laundry room while she was still small enough for a crib, and when Cameron was here for 6 weeks between college and mission, Jasmine moved into my room in a toddler bed. I honestly miss having her in the same room with me sometimes. Now she has Cameron's old room, which we've completely redone! I painted 3 of the walls a light green, and the other wall purple with a white, sparkly tree mural. Whenever Jasmine has friends come in her room, she says, "Look! It's my tree!" It makes me so happy that she loves her tree, especially considering how long it took me. I worked on it for over a month. I also painted her bed white and repainted some shelves Cameron had. I still need to put them up, but they're finally painted. I'm still looking for what to put on her big empty wall, but we found super cute purple curtains with tiny white polka dots. Her bedspread is white, green, pink and purple, with butterflies and flowers all over. I also painted a bamboo dish rack purple and put a bunch of her board books in it like a tiny book basket. It has been so much fun to decorate a room for her! I never got to do a nursery when she was first born.
Eventually I will start saving up money and buy my own house, but right now Jasmine and I love living with my family! There are honestly some days I never want to ever leave!
4 - After living in Houston, we moved back to Utah. We lived in Grandma Pam and Grandpa Don's basement for a few months, I think. Maybe like 7 months? I don't know the exact time frame. I went to half of first grade at Highland Elementary School, and my class was in a portable outside the normal school building. Cameron and I shared a bedroom at Grandma and Grandpa's, and maybe even a bed. My memories are kind of fuzzy. But I do remember a lot of movie nights on their big couch and Andrew falling down the stairs multiple times. The carpets in the bedrooms were all strange colors, from a bright green to a shag blue. It's an interesting house.
5 - Dad got a Job in January of 2002 in Pasco, WA, and we moved to a little red house on Willamette Ave in Kennewick. I was so excited that we had our own actual house! The backyard had two giant sycamore trees, and we hung a swing from one of the branches. You could spin so fast on it! There were some weird vines too, and big pokey bushes with what we called "poison berries" on them. My room was the first door on the left right when you came in the front door; I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be a sewing room, and the whole south-facing wall was covered with drawers of every size. I put my bed under the window, and Mom painted my room light yellow with pink flowers around the top trim. The hallway was a big circle, and one time Cameron and I got running so fast around it, then I changed directions in an attempt to surprise him... Well, it surprised us both, unfortunately. We rammed right into each other and had identical black eyes for three or four days. I also remember that this house had a fireplace, and one Christmas, Santa left black, ashy footprints from the fireplace to our tree and back. That's when I knew Santa had to be real! Another memory from this house is that we were always playing in the dirt. There was a patch of dirt to the right of the patio, behind the garage, that we would make super muddy and get really dirty in. Andrew was always eating dirt. We also bought our first dog, Pepper, when we lived on Willamette. She was a black lab, and the most spastic dog you will ever meet.
6 - The summer I turned eight, we moved to 8959 W Quinault Ave, still in Kennewick. I was really happy that we got to stay in the same ward, but I was nervous about moving schools, Luckily I had awesome teachers, and Sunset View Elementary was the beginning of my marimba career with Walt Hampton's Rugare Marimba Ensemble.
When we first moved in, I had the tiny bedroom upstairs next to my parent's room. I don't remember much about that room. When Sadie was born and big enough for her own room, I moved to the room right across from the garage downstairs. I was so proud that I was big enough to have a bedroom downstairs! I had an awesome canopy over my bed that made me feel like a princess, and Mom and Dad bought me a new bedframe with gold designs on it. I loved being able to stay up reading without Mom & Dad knowing, hehe. In the spring and summers, Cameron and I would ride our bikes almost every day around the neighborhood, playing cops and robbers. Most of the time we'd ride with Brett Matheson, who would be my best friend all the way through middle school and high school. We'd go to the church parking lot and race each other around the lot and down the stairs.
Later, when I got to middle school, Cameron moved downstairs into my room and I moved into what had previously been known as "Grandma's Room": the guest bedroom at the end of the downstairs hallway. I was so excited! I got to paint the room whatever color I wanted, so I chose brown and teal. My bedspread was an off-white with brown, teal, and green dots, and I was pretty excited to have a queen sized bed all to myself. Even if it was an awful mattress. Later I got my own bookshelf, and then my Junior year I got my own electric keyboard. I also stayed up way too late all the time, but that's a normal teenager thing.
7 - Once I graduated from Kamiakin High School, I moved out to Laie, Hawaii to go to school at BYU-Hawaii! I lived in the oldest dorms possible, Hale 3, room 203D I think. I'll have to double-check the exact number, but it was upstairs to the right. Hale 3 was built in the 60's, I think, around the same time the school was built, and it was so old. Our furniture was all metal, even our beds, and everything smelled like mold. There was no air conditioning, just like 90% of Hawaiian housing, so my first roommate (Rebecca Jacobs) and I had lots of fans. I had a mini fan that I clipped onto my bed right by my face when I slept at night. This served 2 purposes: one, it kept me cool; two, it kept the mosquitos off of my face. Rebecca was nice enough to give me the bed right by the window, which was nice when it was raining or breezy. Not so nice when the weedwhackers started up at 7 AM right outside my window. Looking back, I should have been up and getting ready for class anyways. But instead, I tried to hide under the super cute bedspread my mom had found for me. It was white with green and light blue designs, and I had a green and white polka-dot sheet. I was so sad to leave them behind when we moved.
The hale (Hawaiian for "house") had a courtyard in the middle, where there were a bunch of picnic tables and palm trees. Sometimes I would take my homework outside, but it was also very sunny and I am very white. Other times I'd go in the sitting rooms, which had very out-of-tune pianos. There was also a TV room in the front lobby with bug-infested couches, which should tell you how often I sat and watched TV.
The bathrooms in Hale 3 were communal, which meant they were disgusting. There was always long, black hair in the showers (from lots of Polynesians and Asians), cockroaches in the garbages, and with that many girls sharing a bathroom, there was always a gross scent of feminine products.
All the gross things considered, it was kind of fun to be stuck in this crazy housing with girls all my same age, all of us going through the same things. Sure, we made fun of the "rich Utah girls" in the nicer, newer housing across the street, and we secretly envied them, but we were happy because we were all together.
My next housing was in Hale 2, but it was only for one semester. My room in Hale 2 was way more spacious, with built-in closets and drawers, and a real bed with a night stand. I was downstairs this time, with the window bed again. Outside the window were lots of beautiful tropical flowers, including Birds of Paradise. One early morning around 5:30 AM, I woke to the sounds of someone cutting flowers outside my window. When I finally got the courage to look outside, some random lady was walking away with a bunch of flowers and clippings from the Hale's bushes. I probably should have reported her for stealing, she had a florists van. It was really weird.
8 - In 2014, I moved with a crazy person into TVA Q205. It was a one-bedroom apartment, but the only doors were the front door and the bathroom door. No bedroom door, no separation between kitchen and hallways. I thought it was strange. We had a full-sized bed, a couch, table and chairs, and a desk that was more annoying than helpful. I tried to spruce up the boring white walls with a canvas of the Hawaii temple my mom got me for Christmas, along with some other frames. The side of the fridge had been sprayed with what looked like hot cooking oil, and it took a lot of scrubbing to get it clean. Our bathroom was always infested with ants or termites, which freaked me out, and I also found a 7-inch cane spider in there once. Yikes.
I don't have too much to say about the apartment, but I loved our neighbors. To the right were the Hardisty's, who were always so nice and would watch Jasmine for me sometimes. They were both surfer-type people, always out and exploring. To the left, at first, was the Coronado's. She was Indian and he was Latino, which I always thought was an interesting pairing. They were nice too, but a little more reserved in person. Sometimes, though, they would stay up until 1 AM watching Jimmy Fallon videos at full volume and laughing their heads off. It drove me crazy. After they moved, Sean and Mary moved in. I loved them so much! One General Conference, I made over 300 cinnamon rolls but forgot to plan on only having one oven. They let me use their oven until 3 AM. That's just nutso, right? I still talk to Mary occasionally. They have a little girl who is adorable. Sometimes, since our whole apartment building made up half of the ward, we would do spontaneous potlucks in the center courtyards. Everyone would bring their own plate and utensils, along with a dish to share. It was so much fun to just be with all our friends and neighbors. I miss them all so much.
When Jasmine was born, I found a changing table and a crib that I made fit into our bedroom. I also found a rocking chair, which I loved so much! It was so fun to have baby furniture, and I was so sad again to leave it all behind.
9 - After living in TVA, we moved back in with my parents, which is where we are now! I have the room I had before, but now with new carpet, new bedspread and new paint. I also bought myself a cool mirror and clock, and I repainted my bookshelf blue and the nightstand white.
Jasmine slept in the laundry room while she was still small enough for a crib, and when Cameron was here for 6 weeks between college and mission, Jasmine moved into my room in a toddler bed. I honestly miss having her in the same room with me sometimes. Now she has Cameron's old room, which we've completely redone! I painted 3 of the walls a light green, and the other wall purple with a white, sparkly tree mural. Whenever Jasmine has friends come in her room, she says, "Look! It's my tree!" It makes me so happy that she loves her tree, especially considering how long it took me. I worked on it for over a month. I also painted her bed white and repainted some shelves Cameron had. I still need to put them up, but they're finally painted. I'm still looking for what to put on her big empty wall, but we found super cute purple curtains with tiny white polka dots. Her bedspread is white, green, pink and purple, with butterflies and flowers all over. I also painted a bamboo dish rack purple and put a bunch of her board books in it like a tiny book basket. It has been so much fun to decorate a room for her! I never got to do a nursery when she was first born.
Eventually I will start saving up money and buy my own house, but right now Jasmine and I love living with my family! There are honestly some days I never want to ever leave!
Monday, March 27, 2017
Gains and Losses
A few months ago a new family moved into our ward, a family with four adorable kids and two close enough to Jasmine's age to play. I was so excited to gain a new friend, and I invited her out to the library story time.
After talking with her once, even though her kids were kind of going nutso, I knew we would be friends. She was so down to earth, has the same "contain the crazy" parenting style that I have, and was so easy to talk to. We set up a day to have another play-date and I was so happy to have another friend for Jasmine to play with.
I can't remember specifics, but pretty much every other time we'd set up a play-date something would happen - sick babies, rain on a park day, life - and we'd have to cancel. Then the Open Gym we'd go to together got too expensive for me, I picked up 15 more hours a week of work including during story time, and winter made it impossible to meet up at the park, and with everything combined we just... stopped hanging out. I'd see her at church and chat for a minute, mention something about meeting up at the park again, hope it would actually happen, and then inevitably go back to not hanging out. Not on purpose, just stopped.
I've been so busy lately that I hadn't reached out to her in a while, but I still had intentions of doing someething. Now that it's spring I thought maybe the park or going on walks would be nice. What mom doesn't want an excuse to get her kids out of her house, right?
Well, fastforward to a week ago and I made a general post on Facebook asking about the black face mask people have been raving about. This mom mentioned that she had a few samples and she'd bring them by. I thanked her and sent her a message with my address. Her responses were short but I just assumed she was busy and didn't think much of it. After she dropped the samples off (I was gone and she left them beneath the doormat), I wrote her a message asking if she'd like to go on walks with me sometime, with or without kids. I made it super friendly and thanked her for the samples again.
A week has gone by and she hasn't responded. She's seen it. Just not responded.
I don't know what to read into it. Did I do something wrong? Did I offend her by not following up enough on asking to do stuff together?
If I were a normal stay at home mom with a more open schedule and no work obligations, there are so many things that would be different, and sometimes I wonder if I would have more friends.
After talking with her once, even though her kids were kind of going nutso, I knew we would be friends. She was so down to earth, has the same "contain the crazy" parenting style that I have, and was so easy to talk to. We set up a day to have another play-date and I was so happy to have another friend for Jasmine to play with.
I can't remember specifics, but pretty much every other time we'd set up a play-date something would happen - sick babies, rain on a park day, life - and we'd have to cancel. Then the Open Gym we'd go to together got too expensive for me, I picked up 15 more hours a week of work including during story time, and winter made it impossible to meet up at the park, and with everything combined we just... stopped hanging out. I'd see her at church and chat for a minute, mention something about meeting up at the park again, hope it would actually happen, and then inevitably go back to not hanging out. Not on purpose, just stopped.
I've been so busy lately that I hadn't reached out to her in a while, but I still had intentions of doing someething. Now that it's spring I thought maybe the park or going on walks would be nice. What mom doesn't want an excuse to get her kids out of her house, right?
Well, fastforward to a week ago and I made a general post on Facebook asking about the black face mask people have been raving about. This mom mentioned that she had a few samples and she'd bring them by. I thanked her and sent her a message with my address. Her responses were short but I just assumed she was busy and didn't think much of it. After she dropped the samples off (I was gone and she left them beneath the doormat), I wrote her a message asking if she'd like to go on walks with me sometime, with or without kids. I made it super friendly and thanked her for the samples again.
A week has gone by and she hasn't responded. She's seen it. Just not responded.
I don't know what to read into it. Did I do something wrong? Did I offend her by not following up enough on asking to do stuff together?
If I were a normal stay at home mom with a more open schedule and no work obligations, there are so many things that would be different, and sometimes I wonder if I would have more friends.
Thursday, March 16, 2017
Life Update
It's been a while since I've written anything and I thought I'd give a brief update of my life.
Starting a few weeks ago, we finally got a Guardian ad Litem involved with the custody battle. My lawyer recommended asking for one before it was appointed so we had more say in who it would be, which I will be forever grateful for. Amy Crider, our GAL, seems very knowledgeable and level-headed, and is asking the questions I want her to be asking. I'm hoping and praying that she sees what we need her to see and will help us set boundaries to keep Jasmine safe and healthy.
There have been other fun adventures with financial declarations and property disputes. At first I wasn't going to write about them, but Sister Worth told me once that I should write down every once and a while things that I went through and how it felt, and someday I'll look back on it and be so grateful I made it through. Even though it pretty much just stinks right now. So here goes: both Ethan and I had to answer a giant packet of questions, mostly asking about our financial situations, but also involving what we consider to be community and/or separate property, medical records, our stance on the other parent's custody time, etc. It took me a good 2-3 weeks to get through all the questions and find all the documents his lawyer, Asa LeMusga, was asking for. I mean, who has every bank statement ever from the last 5 years just laying around?? I was only 17 five years ago, so... yep. Anyways, I finally got it all done, and by the time I submitted mine his were done too. As I read through his answers I just got angry. His wedding ring (which he told me was lost, by the way) was listed as his separate property because it was a gift, but my jewelry is community property because he paid for it. Um, hello, what does he expect to do with a necklace and earrings?? I don't wear them anymore because they were from him, but I want to keep them so I can sell them to a pawn shop and pay of some of these dang legal fees. He is also claiming that I bought my car with the understanding that it would be a family car, and then "kept it for myself" once we separated. Now I have to go through all my financial records and prove that I paid for the car with my own money, not community money, and that it was never intended to be a "family car". And of course at the same time I'm trying to get financial aid from the FAFSA, but BYUI wants proof of income for every employment I had in 2015 before they give me any money because I filed taxes with Ethan in 2015 and now we're separated. It's all a big giant mess and I hate it.
To add to the mess from last year, now Mom & Dad and I are trying to figure out how we're supposed to file our taxes for this year; Jasmine and I have definitely been dependent on them for everything, but if they claim me on their taxes I could lose my heath and education benefits, which I can't afford on my own. We're still trying to figure out how in the world to make it all work.
My social life has been lacking for a long time, but I'm finally starting to feel it. I am with kids for almost 30 hours a week, my calling is in the nursery, and I'm not legally single yet, so I don't feel like I can just go hang out with a group of people my age. I went to institute once with Kiersten, but I felt like I had to sneak out afterwards because it's still so awkward to be with a bunch of single guys. Girls are whatever, but guys are just awkward. All I want is to talk to adults my age, to someone I can kind of relate to, but instead I get to talk to toddlers every day all day. Don't get me wrong, I love my toddler. But sometimes I want to talk about something other than a pretend family going camping or the "doggies need food". Something that uses my brain would be nice every once and a while.
I don't know, maybe I'm complaining too much. But sometimes I just want to be done with everything for like 3 weeks and regroup from there. LIFE.
Starting a few weeks ago, we finally got a Guardian ad Litem involved with the custody battle. My lawyer recommended asking for one before it was appointed so we had more say in who it would be, which I will be forever grateful for. Amy Crider, our GAL, seems very knowledgeable and level-headed, and is asking the questions I want her to be asking. I'm hoping and praying that she sees what we need her to see and will help us set boundaries to keep Jasmine safe and healthy.
There have been other fun adventures with financial declarations and property disputes. At first I wasn't going to write about them, but Sister Worth told me once that I should write down every once and a while things that I went through and how it felt, and someday I'll look back on it and be so grateful I made it through. Even though it pretty much just stinks right now. So here goes: both Ethan and I had to answer a giant packet of questions, mostly asking about our financial situations, but also involving what we consider to be community and/or separate property, medical records, our stance on the other parent's custody time, etc. It took me a good 2-3 weeks to get through all the questions and find all the documents his lawyer, Asa LeMusga, was asking for. I mean, who has every bank statement ever from the last 5 years just laying around?? I was only 17 five years ago, so... yep. Anyways, I finally got it all done, and by the time I submitted mine his were done too. As I read through his answers I just got angry. His wedding ring (which he told me was lost, by the way) was listed as his separate property because it was a gift, but my jewelry is community property because he paid for it. Um, hello, what does he expect to do with a necklace and earrings?? I don't wear them anymore because they were from him, but I want to keep them so I can sell them to a pawn shop and pay of some of these dang legal fees. He is also claiming that I bought my car with the understanding that it would be a family car, and then "kept it for myself" once we separated. Now I have to go through all my financial records and prove that I paid for the car with my own money, not community money, and that it was never intended to be a "family car". And of course at the same time I'm trying to get financial aid from the FAFSA, but BYUI wants proof of income for every employment I had in 2015 before they give me any money because I filed taxes with Ethan in 2015 and now we're separated. It's all a big giant mess and I hate it.
To add to the mess from last year, now Mom & Dad and I are trying to figure out how we're supposed to file our taxes for this year; Jasmine and I have definitely been dependent on them for everything, but if they claim me on their taxes I could lose my heath and education benefits, which I can't afford on my own. We're still trying to figure out how in the world to make it all work.
My social life has been lacking for a long time, but I'm finally starting to feel it. I am with kids for almost 30 hours a week, my calling is in the nursery, and I'm not legally single yet, so I don't feel like I can just go hang out with a group of people my age. I went to institute once with Kiersten, but I felt like I had to sneak out afterwards because it's still so awkward to be with a bunch of single guys. Girls are whatever, but guys are just awkward. All I want is to talk to adults my age, to someone I can kind of relate to, but instead I get to talk to toddlers every day all day. Don't get me wrong, I love my toddler. But sometimes I want to talk about something other than a pretend family going camping or the "doggies need food". Something that uses my brain would be nice every once and a while.
I don't know, maybe I'm complaining too much. But sometimes I just want to be done with everything for like 3 weeks and regroup from there. LIFE.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)